I did not wake  up in tears this morning! Should i be happy or sad? A part of me feels like am gradualy trying to except your absence.But the other side is screaming not to forget you.It was at that  same moment that i thought....did you leave anything special to remind me of you?It was not untill i saw my image in the mirrow that it crossed my mind that indeed u left me with the most precious  suvenir that money cant buy and  thats me and my siblings.Soo long as we have life ,you will always live through  us.

I thought i would never smile again.Mom said i would if something was realy funny.But i did today.It felt fantastic like i never smiled before.I talked to someone concerning my feelings.It went well, i felt your presence.School was better today.I think am pulling through it all.I talked to my sister too.It felt so good.I cannot say i am happy now cos i still feel that empty space. Do u think  it will it ever be filled? How about you are u happy where u are? 

It all came back to me this morning .Now i know why i am afraid to fall asleep.Because for a moment it feels as if you are still here and you never left.But when the morning comes i am shocked with the reminder that its indeed true.My heart is still broken and i am angry at the world.Why now?why not tomorow.Today is another day and i am trying to move on.Your departure has given me a new view on life.And that every day is indeed preciuos and we should live it to the fullest!But my biggest question  is did you get to do that?

Its almost midnight but i can sleep.Do not know why i started this blogg  because i hate writing .Today its another day without you.I woke up with tears rolling down my cheeks.Just the thought of  going through another day without u hit me.It was then i realise that it was not a dream but all real.Just hurts that u never got the chance to see me reach my goal and to see how much i have grown .Today was not easy , i had to go to school through it all.It was like everything reminded me of you.From the first spring flower to the stranger next to me.The hardest part its that i did not get to say goodbye.I can feel your presence everywhere i go.Are u realy here ?